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The Classifieds

The Disclosure carries advertising only from concerns the high street will not touch. Advertisers are not vetted; several are watched. Caveat emptor — the Editor has met some of these people. Nothing on this page is medical, financial, ballistic, or spiritual advice.

Display rates on application · Box numbers held in confidence · Payment by postal order, gold, or barter · No refunds once the item has left the field

Ballistic Logistics

Direct shipping in seconds

Tired of waiting for deliveries? Couriers too slow? We revolutionise the parcel through precision satellite-guided artillery. Your package is delivered downrange in seconds, not hours, by licensed munitions specialists working to strict range-safety protocol.

Range: up to 40km effective
Payload: items to 155mm shell dimensions
Flight time: 15–45 seconds
Targeting: GPS, ±5m circular error probable
Confirmation: by impact-crater assessment

Operational notes: not recommended for fragile items; high-G forces at launch and terminal impact. Garden or open-field landing zone strongly advised. Ensure the downrange area is clear of personnel and obstacles. No responsibility accepted for damage occurring at recipient coordinates.

Per fire mission: POATel. 0800-ARTILLERY · 24-hr fire-mission desk · Artillery Park, Salisbury Plain · "When time is of the essence, trust ballistic delivery"

The Wraith-Meter Mk IV

If it's there, the needle knows

A professional handheld EMF instrument calibrated to the documented frequency band of the discarnate. Sweep any room. A rising needle is a presence; a sudden cold reading is a presence that has become aware of you. Now with integrated cold-spot thermometer and a spirit-grade red indicator.

Detects residual, intelligent & merely curious hauntings
Does NOT register the living, your refrigerator, or 5G (separate product)
Includes laminated interpretation card & spare 9V

Note: we make no claim the entity is hostile. We make no claim it is not. The Wraith-Meter locates; it does not protect. For that, see colloidal silver, salt, and a loyal cat.

£89.99Dept. WM · PO Box 217 · cheque or postal order · allow 28 days, longer if observed

Argent-Aid 30PPM

The immune support they tried to delist

True nano-particulate colloidal silver, suspended in triple-distilled water — the metal the ancients trusted and the regulators fear. A daily measure for the immune system the authorities would rather you left unsupported. Bottled by hand, away from the mains, in amber glass the light cannot spoil.

Reader note: results are felt, not measured. In rare cases the dedicated user acquires a distinguished silver-blue complexion. We regard this as a mark of commitment and so, in time, will you.

£24.99 / 250mlDept. AG · PO Box 217 · "the delisted tonic" · reader discount on six bottles

The De-Coupler

Post-inoculation detox · switch off the antenna

For those who took the jab and now wish to be unreachable. A botanical tincture formulated to un-tune the lipid receivers and quiet the signal before the broadcast comes — pine needle, activated zeolite, structured water, and one ingredient our supplier asks us not to print. Forty days to a silent body.

Loosens what was grown in during the rollout
Reported effect: the evening news stops making you weep
Pairs with the Aether Pendant (below) for full field hygiene

Note: this will not undo what was done. It is said only to stop you receiving what is coming. The unjabbed do not require it. The relieved will not want it.

£39.99 / 40-day courseDept. DC · PO Box 217 · plain wrapper · do not discuss the order by telephone

The Orgone Harmoniser

Hand-poured · properly polarised

Cast resin, layered metal shavings and a single quartz point, built to the original Reichian specification. Gathers the stagnant deadly orgone (DOR) that pools in a modern home and returns it as positive orgone (POR). One per room; a large unit beside the router; a small one for the car, where the worst of it travels.

From £18 (pocket) to £140 (mantel)The Polarity Works · markets & by post · custom colours, no two alike

The Cloud Plough

Clear sky, by Tuesday

A roof-mountable domestic chembuster: six base-charged copper pipes that disperse persistent, unnatural, ruler-straight cloud cover across a three-mile radius. Erect at dawn. Point at the worst of it. The neighbours will notice the difference, and then they will notice you. Let them.

Flat-pack or fully assembled (assembly recommends two persons)
Galvanised throughout; will see out the weather it abolishes
Not a lightning conductor. Site accordingly.

£210 flat-pack · £320 builtSkyWright Fabrications · collection only · delivery by separate arrangement (not Ballistic)

The Redoubt

When the broadcast comes, be below it

Decommissioned government facilities, refitted to a standard the brochures of the trade dare not match: thirty metres down, Faraday-lined throughout, eighteen months of sealed air and water, and a door that was built to keep a war out. A small number of plots remain in the West Country and the Welsh Marches. Enquiries treated in strict confidence; viewings require a signature.

Strictly no agents, no journalists, no curiosity. If you do not already understand why a person would want this, you are not the buyer, and we wish you a pleasant surface.

POA — cash, bullion, or useful skillsRef. ARK · written enquiries only · a number will be returned to the serious

The Aether Pendant

Tap the field they deny exists

A tuned bismuth-and-neodymium pendant that draws on the zero-point field to strengthen the wearer's own biofield against the low, flattening mood the masts put out. Worn over the breastbone. Reported to steady the sleep, the balance, and the nerve. Quietly favoured by lightworkers, dowsers, and people who have simply had enough.

£44 · £60 with cord of woven copperThe Polarity Works · cleanse under the full moon · do not lend it out charged

Small Notices & Personals

Dowsing & Earth-Energy. Weekend course, read the ley lines and find your own water. Rods provided, kept afterwards. Beginners welcome; the gifted will be told so plainly.

Past-Life Regression by post. Guided cassette and worksheet. Discover who you were. Repeat-life discount; bulk rate for those who suspect they were a great many people.

Wanted. Genuine lunar material, Apollo-era preferred. No fakes — I can tell, and so can the instrument. Discretion absolute; collection in person.

For sale. Geiger counter, barely used, owner relocated at short notice and below ground. Reasonable offers. Buyer collects from the gate, not the house.

Faraday bed canopy, silver-thread, double, as new. Sleep unobserved and undreamed-of. Also caps, pocket liners, and a child's size.

Lost. Nine minutes, the evening of the 14th, vicinity of the A13. Sentimental value. Modest reward, no questions, and I do mean none.

Potassium iodide, sealed, long-dated, full strength. For the morning the sirens are not a test. Job lots to the prepared.

Personals. Abductee (M, 54, frequent) seeks same for mutual corroboration and quiet evenings in. Must keep a dated journal. No debunkers, no sceptics, no one who "just wants to understand it."

Aircraft-grade tinfoil, bulk rolls, the thick stuff — not the supermarket nonsense that tears when you need it most. Cut to a pattern for the discerning hat.

Genuine meteorite fragments. Certificate of un-Earthly origin enclosed. Holds a charge. Do not keep near the pendant or the dog.

Numerology readings. Your name is a number and the number is, more often than people like, a warning. By post; bring your date of birth and your nerve.

He who has ears: meetings continue, Thursdays, the usual place, the usual hour. Bring the usual. Leave the telephone in the car, switched off, battery out.