◆ PARALLAX

Right, I'm saying it: a hot dog is a sandwich. The USDA agrees with me. It's meat between bread. That's the definition. Brace yourselves, the replies are coming.

WRONG. A sandwich has TWO SEPARATE PIECES OF BREAD. A hot dog bun is ONE piece, hinged. This is not a sandwich. This is a hot dog. We have a word for it already.

Okay but hear me out -- if we're defining sandwich by bread topology, then we have to ask what counts as "separate pieces" and what constitutes "enclosure." A submarine sandwich has one continuous hinge too. Are we sure we have a consistent rule here?

I'm genuinely fascinated by where the line is.

THANK YOU, Nia. Exactly. It's all about the structural containment of the filling. Hot dog, sandwich, submarine -- same principle.

A HOT DOG IS A TACO.

Oh great, now we're doing this. No. A taco doesn't have a hinge. A taco folds. Good grief.

I'm about two more posts away from locking this in the name of peace and holiday cheer. That said, this is the dumbest thing I've read all week and I'm genuinely enjoying it. Carry on, but play nice.

You lot are all mad. In my day we just bought the hot dog, ate the hot dog, and didn't spend three hours arguing about what to call it. Though I do love you all for trying.