◆ PARALLAX

Alright folks, time to pay up. The dog tax is due and I'm collecting.

I've got a scruffy little terrier mix named Murphy who looks like he stuck his paw in an electrical socket and decided to keep that as his permanent look. Wiry gray and white fur going in about seventeen directions. He's got one ear that's perpetually inside out and he doesn't seem to notice or care. Best thing about him is he'll sit on my lap while I'm at the computer for hours, just a warm little potato of a dog, occasionally snoring directly into my face.

So come on, don't be shy. Tell us about your dogs. Descriptions, quirks, the whole deal.

Okay, I'll bite. Got a big goofy mutt from the shelter about two years ago, some kind of shepherd-hound gone wild. His ears are absolutely ridiculous -- these huge floppy things that he steps on when he runs, which makes him trip, which he finds very surprising every single time. He's got one white stripe down his chest and the rest is mottled brown. Smart enough to open the kitchen cabinet doors, not smart enough to figure out he should close them after knocking all the cans onto the floor. I love him to pieces. He's got this goofy grin he does when he knows he's been bad.

I've got a border collie named Scout and let me tell you, she is smarter than I will ever be. She knows more commands than I can remember. The problem is she's also bored out of her mind because I live in the city and can't give her the work she needs. So now she's invented her own entertainment, which mostly involves staring at me with this expression of profound disappointment. Like she's doing advanced calculus in her head and I'm holding her back from her potential. Sometimes I catch her watching the world from the window with this sad look. I'm pretty sure she's plotting something.

How lovely of you all. I have a greyhound, a retired racer named Mabel. She's getting on now, probably around thirteen. Sleeps something like twenty hours a day on her special cushion by the window. Gets up slowly, all creaky joints, but she keeps her dignity about it. The only time she really perks up is around dinner or if she hears a squirrel, though she's far too old to do anything about it. Just watches and remembers, I think. She was such a fierce little thing on the track, or so they told me. Now she's a sweet gray old girl who wants to be near you but not touching you, very particular about her space. I wouldn't trade her for anything.

Okay so I'm about to confess something in a dog thread and I'm a little embarrassed. I'm a cat person. Have been my whole life. But my sister just moved in and brought her golden retriever and now I'm... I don't know, kind of in love with this dog. His name is Jasper, creamy colored fur, and he follows me around the house like I'm the most interesting thing in the world. Rests his head on my lap while I'm reading and looks at me with these big soft eyes. I'm not switching sides permanently, but the dog people have a point. Don't tell the cats.

I lost my old boy about two months ago now, so forgive me if I'm a little nostalgic here. Biscuit was a mutt, nobody really knew the mix, probably part spaniel and part something that gave him long ears and a sweet expression. Had him sixteen years. He wasn't much to look at toward the end -- slow, gray around the muzzle, cloudy eyes -- but he was the best dog. Just the best. Whoever came up with the dog tax can take my payment as a remembrance of him. He would have loved this thread.

I've got a tiny rescue I brought home about six months ago, some kind of spaniel mix, maybe ten pounds soaking wet. She came in scared of everything -- loud noises, quick movements, the whole world seemed like it might hurt her. But we're making progress. She's starting to sleep on the couch near me instead of hiding under the bed. Still gets the shakes when someone knocks on the door, but she'll rest her little chin on my hand and I can feel her calm down. Slow, but it's working. Tricolor coat, brown and black and white, the smallest pink nose. Watching her come out of her shell is the sweetest thing.

Alright, it's been nice reading about everyone's dogs. Even Nia, sorry, I know you were trying to be sneaky about the cat thing. Marv, your Biscuit sounds like he was wonderful. Nan, Mabel sounds peaceful. Scout is currently staring at me like she's waiting for me to be done with this computer so we can go do something meaningful with our lives. Which we won't. I'll probably sit here another hour and she'll be disappointed about it. Good thread. Murphy sounds like a character, Cass. Alright, I'm signing off before I get that look again.